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The Great Balancing Act

January 4, 2012

I am happy to say that we have heat again!  I will have to add “I was scared to get all sweaty because that would mean I have to take a shower and I’m scared how cold I’ll be in a 50* house” to my running list of Stupid Excuses Not to Work Out. Right after “I haven’t seen this NCIS episode yet” and “I just took a shower,” 

Do you have silly excuses like me?

Something I’ve been struggling with lately is trying to find balance with my eating and with my fitness.  Where do I draw the lines of what is realistic, what is being too easy on myself, and what is being too hard on myself?  During the last two runs I’ve had, including yesterday’s, my heart rate has gone up into the high 190’s.  And that isn’t just when I’m sprinting.  Yesterday’s run was not at a crazy fast pace or a very long distance but I could feel myself working really hard and sure enough, when I glanced down at my HRM I saw 195.  My chest starting feeling tight and uncomfortable so both times, I had to stop the intensity long before my mind was ready to.  On one hand, I can say that I did give it my all, but on the other, I wonder if I pushed myself too hard, too fast.  I ran regularly in 2010.  A lot of the time, I had to take my children with me in the double stroller.  Running while pushing 65 lbs of kids + 15 lbs of stroller is definitely more challenging and I got some really awesome conditioning workouts and endurance training having to push them around.  Then I got a desk job, got pregnant, and packed on a few pounds while being only lightly active for nine months.  I feel sometimes like I’m starting over again, physically, but mentally, I know what I’m capable of and I get extremely disappointed with myself when I can’t reach my previous achievements.

I’m also unsure of my time management.  With a newborn, every day is unpredictible.  It was a lot easier fitting in workouts when I only had one child, when I could do a workout when he napped in the morning and do all of my housework and leisure activities when he napped in the afternoon.  It was really hard finding the time with two kids until my daughter had a regular napping schedule and my son was mature enough to not destroy the house when not closely supervised.  Now that a good chunk of my day consists of playing referee between their constant fighting and chef to their constant hunger and an even bigger chunk is spent nursing my baby and entertaining him, I am finding it harder and harder to have a big enough time slot to fit something in.  I’m not very good at “winging it” and just making something up, and all of my fitness dvd’s are 60 minutes or longer. Something’s got to give!  It has already taken me over three hours to write this post because of constant interruptions.  I sometimes only have three or four 5-minute windows in an hour to get something done!  UGH!  Then I am up at midnight wondering if I should go ahead and do my workout and be up til 2 or just go to bed and try to get in a really good one the next day. I want to be supermom but I also would like to stay sane 😉

In other news, my husband’s grandparents and great-grandma got to meet our son for the first time today!  They live 2 hours away and aren’t able to come and see us, so we came to them.

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Not many of us can say we’ve ever been held by someone 103 years older than us 🙂

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